Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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