If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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