She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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