she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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