I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize