I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize