but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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