so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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