Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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