I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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