Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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