Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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