i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize