my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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