could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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