Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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