mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize