thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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