just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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