I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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