do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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