hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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