Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I lost the right to judge tonight
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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