So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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