where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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