Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
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Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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