Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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