i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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