This is not my ceiling
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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