Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize