he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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