I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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