but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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