omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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