You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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