Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize