he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize