he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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