I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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