so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize