Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
COCAINE IS GR8
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize