Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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