Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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