Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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