Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
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i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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