a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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