Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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