her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Pants are for mortals
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