is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Houston, we have a blender
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
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you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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