We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We had sex on a dog bed..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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